I have been…

I Have Been:

I found this on Roofbeam reader’s site and I liked the look of it

{writing}

Not so much. A little bit at New Europe, a bit on here and sometimes in my head, working on that novel.

That novel is proving quite difficult emotionally. I wish my subconscious would be a little more light-hearted. Here’s what I wrote on the morning of the attack on the little Chinese children and the killings in Newtown (some hours before they occurred, I hasten to add) and I can’t bring myself to write anymore yet:

The white casket seemed too small to have to spend the rest of its time under the earth on its own so Roisin thought she would go with it. No one held her back as she walked forward and stepped on the ground that was slowly sinking down. Face down, body in contact she felt all the pain flowing through her chest and there was the sound of wailing. Was she wailing she wondered? She couldn’t make a sound, hadn’t spoken in three months so it couldn’t be her. No need for noise as she started to hit her head against the wood. Twice she made contact before hands grabbed her and lifted her away. Too little, she thought. Too little

{reading}

I’ve been more successful with my reading if a little more promiscuous. I start many things but finish few. I am up to M on my A-Z challenge and have started the award-winning Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. I find it difficult to enjoy historical settings however so it’s a huge struggle. I am reading Vagina by Naomi Wolf and Your Many Faces by Virginia Satir. The latter is (or was?) a renowned family therapist and I wanted to learn about techniques that could help us lead a happy / healthy (happier / healthier) family life but it seems more about discovering yourself. It’s very good so far. Wolf’s book is a little more contentious as it was widely mocked and ridiculed when first published so I wanted to read it for myself.

It’s not an easy read as part of it delves into the brutalisation of women. There is much of interest. Some of the reviews I read mocked the pro-Assange views and the ultra-femininity but didn’t mention the horrors that women face such as female genital mutilation, and the mass rapes and torture that women experience in war. I believe that Wolf’s thesis is that we’ve come from a time when women used to be sacred and now they are regularly abused and defined by their sexuality.

{listening}

I’ve been listening to Jonathan Coulton who seems to have a Banksy-esque style of juxtaposing contexts to provide much mirth (as well as political insights). My favourite is Good morning Tucson which starts with the line “It’s still so dark because it’s still so early”to which I listen on the way to the station for my early train in the dark.

{watching}

I’ve just finished watching the Killing series one and the number of themes I could write about from that grows every time I think about it. Lundt is a single mother, she works in a police department which lies, is political and bureaucratic and uses almost criminal techniques to get what it wants; Lundt practically abandons her son in the process of the investigation but it’s hard to see how she could have avoided it; the political system in Denmark hints at issues with immigration and integration and the complexities of political dynamics.

{looking}

At the bottom of Park Street at the pop up art gallery Antlers there are some beautiful pictures of Bristol and other places. I wish I had the money to do more than look. I’ve also been looking at Christmas lights on College Green and along the harbour.

{learning}

My favourite thing.

I’ve been studying a MOOC as one of around 85,000 students at Duke University. I’ve been watching the lectures on my phone and doing the quizzes and I used the inter-library loan system to borrow the course book. The amount I still have to learn about arguing is astonishing. I have also signed up for two more courses on data analysis from Harvard and John Hopkins university respectively. I’ve also signed up to a gender in comics course.

{feeling}

Tired. Intrigued. Constantly amazed at how we managed to create another human being. Too tired for most other emotions but quietly aware that nothing stays the same.

{anticipating}

The Mousetrap at the Bristol Hippodrome in 2013.

The Killing series two and three.

Running again. Bristol 10k in May.

{wishing}

For enough energy to be inspired by life.

{loving}

Scandinavian thrillers – Jo Nesbo and the Killing so far.

My little girl’s feet, her bouncing, her singing, her dancing and her laughing and her tummy.

– the fact that we’re still here after the Mayan apocalypse.

White chocolate syrup.
Chinese food.
Netflix on my phone.
EBooks on my phone.

Happy 2013.

read

{listening}

{watching}

{looking}

{learning}

{feeling}

{anticipating}

{wishing}

{loving}

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: